Anxiety is often seen as this unwelcome visitor, showing up at the worst times—racing heart, sweaty palms, that knot in your stomach. But what if, instead of seeing it as an enemy, we saw anxiety as a messenger? It’s like your body and mind are trying to tell you something important, something deeper than just surface-level stress.
Linda Ugelow, a confidence coach, believes anxiety is actually a signal. It’s not random—it’s there for a reason. Maybe it’s pointing to a fear of failure or reminding you of unresolved issues you’ve pushed aside for too long. For example, you might be anxious about giving a big presentation at work, but it’s not because you’re unprepared. Maybe the real issue is that, deep down, you’re battling a belief that you’re not good enough.
Tim JP Collins, an anxiety expert who’s been through it himself, says anxiety is your intuition telling you your life might be out of sync. It’s like your inner voice is waving a flag, saying, "Hey, something’s off here!" Maybe it’s the job that doesn’t fulfill you, or the constant pressure to meet unrealistic expectations. The truth is, we’re often so focused on keeping up appearances or hitting those life milestones, we forget to check in with what we really want or need. 
As millennials, we know this struggle all too well. We’ve been called “the most anxious generation,” and for good reason. We’re expected to have it all figured out by the time we hit 30—career, success, stability. But maybe, just maybe, our anxiety is telling us that this hustle culture, this constant striving, isn’t in line with who we really are.
As uncomfortable as anxiety is, the temptation to avoid it is strong. We often distract ourselves—scrolling endlessly through our phones, binge-watching, or diving into work—anything to keep from facing that nagging feeling. But here's the thing: avoidance only gives anxiety more power.
Instead, what if we practiced a little patience with ourselves? What if, instead of pushing anxiety away, we sat with it for a while, listened to it, and tried to understand what it’s really saying? It’s not easy, but it’s the first step toward truly dealing with it. In those quiet moments, you might begin to uncover the deeper reasons behind your anxiety. And once you start understanding it, you can start healing.
But how exactly do we sit with our anxiety and begin to understand it? Here’s a simple practice that can help you connect with your anxiety and start unpacking what it's trying to tell you:
1. Notice how anxiety is showing up. Is it a tightness in your stomach? Clenched jaws? Maybe your heart is racing. Pay attention to the physical/emotional/psychological sensations—it’s your body’s way of alerting you to something deeper. Check out this blog for more information. 2. Sit with the feeling and breathe. Take slow, deep breaths and allow the anxiety to be there without trying to push it away. It might be uncomfortable at first, but the goal is to stay grounded.
3. Spend time with it. The longer you sit with the discomfort, the more likely it is that the root cause will begin to reveal itself.
4. Identify the underlying need. What is the anxiety pointing you toward? Maybe it’s a need for safety, validation, or even rest. Get curious about what your anxiety is trying to highlight.
5. Address the need. Once you’ve identified the need, ask yourself, "How can I meet this need?" Whether it’s setting boundaries, seeking support, or practicing self-compassion, taking action on this insight can help ease the anxiety. 
This practice is a way of treating anxiety not as an enemy but as a guide. The more we get comfortable exploring its messages, the more aligned we become with what we truly need in life.
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